I am going to be honest with you , especially on a venue that can be heard all over the world, for the past six years I allowed a volunteer job to slowly eat at my well-being until I reached a very uncomfortable breaking point. It was a volunteer job that brought joy in working with children in a field that I was very well versed in and had taught at university level before I moved to California and semi-retired to raise my youngest son.
I was so wrapped up in helping kids and sharing the joy of music that I let certain things go and overlooked certain things from the coordinator that eventually built a wall of hurt so big that I was weeping at night and practicing unhealthy behaviors like, eating my feelings, a cup of wine more than I should and generally making myself and my family miserable. I allowed a VOLUNTEER job to rule my heart, my home and my family. I allowed a “person” with a title, that she probably did not deserve” to treat me in a very unprofessional manner by not returning emails, picking up the phone, or speaking to me when my last resort was seeing her in person. A few months ago, I decided I had enough. I took a long look in the mirror and pictured myself six years ago and wondered what the hell happened.
I will report that I received so many wonderful emails from parents about my work with their children that when I did leave this “VOLUNTEER” job I felt at least a bit better. I will miss working with the children, but my health and my family are forever more going to be my focus and my work and volunteer work will take second stage from now on.
I am only telling you this for two reasons.
One – I have always been a strong person and one of complete honesty. And honestly as I look back on the blog here and my own personal journal, I saw the drastic changes in my personality. These changes not only affected my feelings and the way I wrote, but also my phsyical health. And being that I am on the edge of 50, I really feel that I left that craziness just in time, or years would have been shaved off my life. For proof I will give you this, I have colitis, and the symptoms were getting out of hand, even though I was being extra careful about my diet. When I left this situation, the majority of the symptoms disappeared within a week. If you know about the condition, that little line will sound like a miracle to your ears.
Two – I will be adding another tab to this blog about Self Care and Busy Moms. I am on a committed journey to heal my mind, body and spirit and I intend to share bits of this journey with you gals as a source of accountablity and sharing. I have seen the edge of exhaustion on mom volunteers, mostly at schools but lots of times at churches and volunteer summer programs. There is a limit to our time as moms and we have to be bold enough to say yes one or twice and say no the rest of the time. I am learning, as I go.
Thanks for reading the ramble.
Do you have any experiences similar in have to let something go that was causing you way too much stress and dissapointment? I would love some sharing on this important subject.
Our Theme for this Series, will be Persistent Personal Maintenance, Actions Steps, Tips and My Personal Journey to help busy moms be joyful and healthier by nourishing our minds, bodies and souls.
Have a super day,