Busy Moms Need To Learn To Say No
In a fast-paced world where moms can be contacted in a variety of ways, constantly. It is hard to turn down the frenzy and even harder to say no to obligations for themselves and for their families. Busy moms need to learn to say no. Listed are a few ways moms are constantly contacted and methods the modern world uses to ask them to do stuff. This is day 4 of the 12 Day Self-Care Challenge.
How Moms Are Contacted Today
- Snail Mail
- Computer Messaging
- Smartphone messaging
- Social Media Messaging
- Newsletters from School
When my mom was parenting this list was just four methods and used to request a dozen cupcakes for school fundraisers and a collection for a yearly teacher gift. Moms today are asked to help with fundraisers for entire departments of schools. The frenzy of people asking moms to do more on top of their work and family obligation can cause real stress.
Today we are going to work on an important aspect of self-care during the holidays season. We will learn methods to happily say no.
Learn To Say No
Learning to say no for moms is hard. Moms want to please people, especially our family. It is important that we look at the big picture during the holidays so that when we do say yes it fits not just one of our children but the whole immediate family.
Learning To Choose Wisely
Work with your spouse/partner and your children on what you really love about the holidays or any other time of the year. What is truly important to your family’s happiness. Also ask input from each child individually so that their voice can be heard.This will let them know that their choices are just as important as yours and their older siblings.
Here are things to consider:
- Large traditional family gatherings
- Individual family member social events, parties, weddings, visiting with friends
- Non-negotiable school and church events – Sports, Christmas Services
Explain Your Plans To The Kids
Explain to your kids that there is only time for a certain amount of activities during the holidays. I suggest trying to do one special thing for each child, this might be as simple as allowing them to visit friends during winter break a couple of days or going to the holiday boutique to visit Santa and have cocoa and cookies.
Once you and/or your spouse have decided on how much to is reasonable to devote to social events fill out a calendar. Make this calendar one that you both have easy access to daily. Consider adding notes on whole will be driving who to what events.
Now your framework is built for the holiday season and you can respectfully decline the events your family has decided against for the holiday season.
Busy Moms Need To Learn To Say No ( The Happy Method)
Letting folks know that your family is busy is pretty simple once you get the hang of it. You have already built the framework for your holiday plans.
- Discussed with family
- Decided on which obligations and events to attend
- Written it on the calendar for the family to see daily
Say Not the Happy Way
When someone requests more of your time simply say.
“Oh, we would have loved to attend. We have other obligations/family events scheduled for that day. Perhaps we can get together or contribute next time.”
Using the “Say N”o Happy Method With Money
P.S. This method also works with your money.
- Meet with spouse/partner
- Decide on what money you have to spare for holiday gifts and charitable donations
- Write it down and stick to it.
Self-Care Challenge for the day:
Discuss with your family what you would like for your Holiday season activities to include.
Write them down on the calendar and stick to your family plan.