Ruthie Jean Told Me I Have The Secretary Spread
Today was one of those days. I was literally running to my car to get my Little Guy to school or running to my car to pick him up. I am eternally grateful that we live relatively close to his school or I would become known as one of “those moms“. You know, the mom who arrives late for everything and always arrives in sweats, with bed head and sporting hairy armpits. Well today I was part one and part two, but not part three because I used a fresh razor the day before. But I accomplished the task. I got my son to school and I remembered to pick him up. Yeah for Momma!
In between this, I joined the ever so popular gym for ladies called Curves. I was a member the year I quit smoking those nasty death sticks and it really helped me keep my mind off of all evil thoughts. (If you have ever quit a bad habit, you will know what I am talking about.) I arrived promptly at noon for my returning newbie appointment. It was pretty cool, they now have a key so you can work out even when the attendants are not there to chat on the phone and gossip about this and that in the little office area. But, today I had an appointment with Ruthie Jean. What a doll, a tiny lady about 68 years old and just as sweet as she could be.
Ruthie Jean showed me how to use the new key thingy to open the door and where to find the ” I am over 40” pre-workout powder room. ( Am I the only one, but after I turned forty I pee at least twice as much as I did in my thirties.)
We then went to the machines to work on my form in the Circus Ring ( circuit training circle). We chatted about this and that and were really having a nice time. Then she asked me why I joined and what my goals in the next month would be and beyond. I told her I took a sit-down job and had put on a few pounds. I was honest, so sue me. Ruthie Jean took a step back and said ” Pam, you have Secretary Spread but its mostly around your gut. Me: what? ( nosy lady wearing pink sweats yells across the room )Yes, she says it happens to all of us and it’s really hard to get rid of especially on your rear-end. (folks at Curves have manners, they do not use the term butt.)
Well, as much as I enjoyed the chatting I was still slightly taken aback by my newly knighted term “Spread”. And if you look this term Secretary Spread up in the Urban Dictionary you will know why. Apparently, secretaries can spread in more ways than one. But rest assured I have never been a secretary and I have never been a Socially Spreading Secretary in my life.
But before I sign off I must share with you, I love Curves! Love it! I go in and thirty minutes later I come out healthier and happier. That is pretty darn cool
peace and popcorn,